Do you know what the most common New Year’s resolutions are?
* Diet change
* Modified exercise regimen
* More quality time with family and friends
It’s the same thing every year. We're going to get SUPER healthy and...
* Lose those last 10 lbs!
* Start ‘eating clean’ (whatever that means....)
* Run 3 miles a day
* Do a Dry January
* “Reset” with Whole 30
* Try Noom or My Fitness Pal
* Family dinners together every night
* Meditate for 20 minutes every morning
* Get 8 hours of sleep each night
* Skip the weeknight wine
* Learn a new language
And we certainly don’t just choose one of these things….. We go ALL IN on 4 or 5 of them!
It’s our own personal Health Revolution.
And to be clear, I’m all for adding in movement, getting good quality sleep, staying hydrated, learning new skills, pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, and feeling amazing in your skin.
We set ourselves up for failure right from the start.
And most importantly, we’re checking out, instead of checking in.
* Looking to the diet book to tell us how, what and when to eat.
* Eating endless low fat yogurt because it’s zero points on Weight Watchers even though we don’t even really like it.
* Forcing ourselves on daily runs despite the knee pain that popped up on Day 2 because the “experts” say it’s a quick calorie burn.
* Entering every bite of food on My Fitness Pal so we stay on track with calories and macros.
* Pushing too far in a yoga class because we don’t want to look silly, inflexible or inexperienced.
* Searching for connection through beauty, power and money, and then feeling let down when we don’t find it.
Want to know a secret?
Your goals not only become infinitely easier to accomplish when you listen inward and act on what you hear - your goals often change because you are acting in alignment with what’s true for you.
Not what’s true for others.
It’s a challenging distinction, especially when we are socialized to fit in and act in kind with those around us.
What might your days, your weeks, your year look like if you committed to check in with YOU rather than others.
* You take three calming breaths before you get out of bed in the morning.
* You Journal several times a week (daily?) to more clearly understand your thoughts, and how they are creating your feelings and driving your actions.
* You practice and get to feel the quiet beauty of gratitude.
* You make time for you, and are therefore able to be more present when you’re with others.
* You figure out ways to move your body that you actually enjoy.
* You understand yourself and how you move through this world; you’re self-compassionate and acting from a place that is true to who you are right now.
“New Year, New You” is Nonsense
There’s nothing wrong with the “Old You”.
What about “New Year, Same Beautiful You”?
The you that’s working on understanding herself better and cultivating awareness, intention, and clarity.
Building up skills and tools, learning and failing, and trying out new strategies along the way.
YESSSSS!
Not to your sister, your friends, the social media influencer, doctors on tv, your mother, your husband, or the moms at pick up.
There is another way.
Cultivate trust in YOU.
Trust YOUR Inner Wisdom.
You know WAY more than you think you do.
I LOVE this story I read a few years back and return to it often in moments of self doubt.
An expert in the psychology of wisdom and trust was being interviewed for a magazine article.
The interviewer asked her all these insightful questions, and then ended with, “Tell me… what is the greatest misconception people have about wisdom?”. The psychologist thought about it, and then replied simply, “the greatest misconception about wisdom, is that we don’t have it”.
That blew me away when I first read it.
We think we don’t have any wisdom... because we are so out of touch with it.
We are so used to outsourcing our wisdom and knowledge about our own lives, our own bodies even (!) to others.
We implicitly trust people we’ve never even met to tell us what, when and how to eat, act, move, and be, over our own voices.
It’s this disconnect that keeps us stuck in harmful diet/binge/restrict cycles.
Keeps us looking in the mirror and hating what we see, or hiding from our lives on the couch with a bottle of wine and hours on Facebook.
There is so much freedom, clarity and intention available to us when we take the time to open up to it.
CULTIVATING THE HABIT OF LISTENING IN
Try the practice below REGULARLY.
First thing in the morning. Before you eat breakfast. Once you sit at your desk. When you are waiting at a stoplight. After you eat dinner. Before you send that text. When you are getting ready for bed.
The more you check in, the more it becomes second nature to do so.
THIS is the kind of habit we need more of in our lives.
There is so much waiting on the other side of this. And it’s the Good Stuff, not the nonsense we’re told we should be wanting or seeking out.
Figure out what’s true for you, and let go of the rest.
You do that by listening in.
Over and over and over again.
THREE STEPS TO DEEP INNER LISTENING
STEP 1. CHECK IN with yourself (pause, take a deep breath, yoga, journaling, meditation, dance, etc...)
STEP 2. ASK yourself what you need and LISTEN for the answer (what do you really want to eat, how much sleep feels right, how much movement do I want and what kind, do I need more time alone, or more connection with others, etc...)
STEP 3. ACT on it (most importantly!). This helps you build trust in yourself so you can continue to make decisions based on what is important and feels right for YOU, not for anyone else.
Happy New Year friends. Here’s to cultivating the habit of listening in and seeing what opens up for you.
