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Find Your Freedom: Say 'No' With Ease & Purpose


Things tend to get... overwhelming this time of year.


Commitments, responsibilities, and demands on your time have a tendency to take you away from yourself and leave you feeling depleted, cranky, and out of sorts.


And before you know it, you're drinking wine several nights a week, skipping the workout, feeling exhausted, yelling at the kids, annoyed with your partner, and not performing your best at work.


UGHHHH.....


It feels awful.


It makes sense though. When you think of all the things that come your way that you want to say no to, or at least want to think about before agreeing to, but then you're throwing around enthusiastic YES!'s and taking on more than you can chew.


One of my Signature Moves is to think everything sounds amazing in theory, but then when it comes down to doing the thing, I'm like, "Noooo..... Why did I ever agree to this?!?!"




Our inner people pleasers want to say Yes to literally everything:


  • Attend the Tuesday night Holiday Cocktail Party an hour away? What time should I be there?

  • Bake 1,000 cookies for the school festival? My pleasure!

  • Drive that random relative to and from the airport...during rush hour? I'd love to!

  • Attend the party for your neighbor's, friend's, cousin's cat? Wouldn't miss it!

  • Organize that complex and time-consuming project at work... pro bono? Absolutely!

  • Join the 3 hour (useless and waste of time) meeting? What time should I be there!


But guess what?


Then you don't have time for yourself, or for what's actually important because you're out picking up 43 kids in the carpool.



 


2 Simple Steps to Make Saying No Easier

(Because it's Hard AF for me too.....)



 



STEP 1: KNOW YOUR PRIORITIES AND GOALS


"If you want to make good use of your time, you've got to know what's most important and then give it all you've got." - Lee Iacocca


The clearer your priorities and goals are in your mind (bonus if they're written on paper!), the easier it will be to determine your boundaries.


How?


Take a page out of Warren Buffet's book....


 

Warren Buffet's 5/25 Rule



 



Write down 25 goals or tasks you want to accomplish.


Identify the top 5 priorities among them.


The remaining 20 are distractions to be avoided like the plague until the Top 5 are achieved.


Write them down along with the Next Best Step you can take to achieve each one.


** This step is even more important if you're like me and think everything sounds great when it's 5 weeks away.... Look at your priorities - will you still think it sounds great when you're putting on the dress to go to the cocktail hour?



 



STEP 2: POLITELY DECLINE ANYTHING THAT IS NON-ESSENTIAL


Now that you have your priorities in order, let them guide your decisions.

Save time and mental space for the things that really matter to you.


Have a standard reply in your back pocket for saying 'no' in a way that feels good (one that doesn't feel icky or disingenuous because then you won't use it)



Here are some Go-To's you can use to politely decline anything:


  • I appreciate the offer, but I have to decline

  • Thank you for considering me, but I can't commit to this right now

  • I'm afraid I can't fit this into my schedule at the moment

  • Thanks for thinking of me, but I won't be able to participate

  • I appreciate your invitation, but unfortunately, I can't join

  • I'm thankful for the chance, but unfortunately, I have to pass

  • Thank you for including me, I'm sorry I can't make it


HINT! Please resist the urge to say anymore, to qualify how you're spending your time, or to explain yourself further. Leave. It. At. That.




 


Wishing you hours of down time, jammies, hair not done, Netflix marathons, reading your book, couch naps, doing your art, peace of mind, or whatever it is that you now get all because you said NO in the first place!


With all the love,

Carolyn


xx



PS ~ Need help saying NO?? I get it.... Click HERE for a FREE 30 minute chat with me to see how getting clear on what you want and then advocating for yourself is not only well within your reach, but sooooo worth the effort.


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