You can welcome the positive AND the negative, in exchange for the profound knowing that you are creating more moments where:
* You feel confident in yourself, regardless of what the woman in front of you looks like.
* You don’t need the extra cocktail to stop feeling awkward at the party. Instead you cozy up and welcome all the gangly, bumbling bits.
* When you JUST KNOW you’ve made the right decision.
* When you ditch the crazy diet, and instead actually get quiet and listen to the messages your own body is giving you about how, when and what to eat.
* When you say the thing you mean to say without second guessing yourself.
* When despite weeks of inactivity, you get up and go for a walk because your body is calling for it - and you were not only quiet enough to hear it, but wise enough to act on it.
* When someone asks what you think about something, and you have an answer that rings true.
* When the kids are fighting and instead of joining in the chaos, you take a deep breath and handle it calmly.
* When you are faced with a challenging decision, and you sit down and trust that you will figure out the best way forward.
You can always come home to yourself.
A Simple Practice to Bring You Back Home
The purpose of this practice is to take you out of your thinking mind and back into your body.
Back to that place where you are at home in your own skin.
At home with yourself.
The good, the bad and the ugly. All of it.
Try this Home Base practice the next time you have some quiet time (even a single minute works). Right when you wake up, before bed, after a walk, before you log into your computer at work, when you park the car, before you eat dinner....
** PRO TIP!!Come back to this practice often - daily if possible - so that it’s established in quieter moments. Then you'll more easily be able to call on it in moments of challenge and unease.
STEP 1: Feel the ground below you.
In yoga classes, we call this Grounding Down.
There are many benefits to grounding down (including during a panic attack and moments of great worry or stress), but the main goal here is to sense the support underneath you, so you can more fully relax and settle down.
Feel the parts of your body that are connected to the ground below you. So, depending if you’re seated, standing, lying down, if you have a pillow or other props etc… this will be different.
Sink into that connection, feel a heaviness or a sense of letting go.
Take as long as you like here.
STEP 2: Breathe.
First notice the breath without doing anything to change it.
Is it slow and steady, or fast and jagged. Is it getting caught anywhere or is it smooth and even etc….
Then begin to breathe in and out of your nose (if possible) and lengthen out the exhale breath as it’s generally considered very calming.
Take a few (several!) rounds like that.
STEP 3: Notice what comes up.
Attention here rests IN your body. This is often easier with eyes closed, but see what works for you.
Check in with physical sensations like your breath, heart beating in your chest, or your blood pumping through your veins. Maybe there is a physical discomfort or a sense of ease in your body. Is there a tightness in your chest or tension in your neck - what emotion might that signify for you? Get curious to see what else you can notice.
Take time to sit with whatever comes up. Try to accept and even welcome it (all of it….) without judgment or criticism.
We often seek approval, validation and advice from others because we have lost trust in ourselves and our ability to make decisions that support our well-being, health and happiness.