Are You Taking These 7 Things Too Personally?
I like to think I'm a fairly emotionally intelligent person.
And yet, give me an unanswered text, a slightly strange interaction, or someone who seems annoyed with me, and my brain is ready to write an entire novel about what I must have done wrong 💃
Did I say something?
Are they upset with me?
Should I have handled that differently?
The funny thing is, most of the time, I have absolutely no idea what's going on in that person's head.
None of us do.
One of the most useful things I've learned about our minds is how quickly we make things about ourselves.
Someone doesn't respond. Someone seems irritated. Someone disagrees with us.
And within seconds, we've created an entire story about what it means.
But just because something affects you doesn't mean it's about you.
(Read that again)
And learning to recognize the difference can save us an enormous amount of unnecessary stress.
✨ I N S P I R E
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
✨ T H R I V E
7 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Don't Take Personally
1. Someone else's bad mood
Your partner is short with you. A friend seems irritated. Your teenager answers with an attitude. Your brain immediately wonders what you did.
↳ Try this: Before reacting, ask yourself, "Do I actually know this is about me?"
Sometimes people are just having a bad day.
2. The unanswered text
You send a message. Hours go by. Nothing.
Suddenly you're replaying your last conversation, wondering whether you said something wrong.
↳ Try this: Replace "They're ignoring me" with "I don't know why they haven't responded."
It's a tiny change that keeps you from treating an assumption like a fact.
3. Not being included
Friends get together without you. You're not invited. You see the pictures afterward. This one can sting...
↳ Try this: Let yourself feel disappointed without immediately turning it into "They don't value me."
Feeling left out is an experience. Being unimportant is a conclusion.
4. Someone setting a boundary
Someone says no to your invitation, needs space, or can't help with something.
It's easy to interpret that as rejection.
↳ Try this: Remind yourself, "Someone can care about me and still have limits."
Their boundary doesn't automatically say anything about your worth.
5. Someone else's success
A friend gets the opportunity, recognition, or experience you've been hoping for. And suddenly, your own life feels a little less impressive.
↳ Try this: Ask, "Would I still be happy with where I am if I hadn't heard their news?"
Their success didn't change your circumstances. It changed what you're comparing them to.
6. Constructive feedback at work
Your boss suggests changing something you worked hard on.
Your brain hears: I'm not good enough.
↳ Try this: Separate the feedback from your identity.
"This presentation needs work" is not the same as "I'm bad at my job."
7. Someone disagreeing with you at work
You share an idea in a meeting. Someone pushes back.
Suddenly you're defending yourself instead of discussing the idea.
↳ Try this: Ask one curious question before responding: "What are you seeing differently?"
You can disagree without making it a referendum on your intelligence.
Emotional intelligence doesn't mean nothing bothers you.
It means you can notice when something hurts without automatically deciding what it says about you.
Because not everything is personal.
And not everything deserves the story our minds are so quick to create.
Hope this helps!
Have a great week friends,
Carolyn
P.S. If you'd like to get better at handling the little (and not-so-little) moments that test your emotional intelligence, I created something for you. My Complete EQ Playbook is filled with practical tools to help you navigate difficult conversations, manage your reactions, and respond with more confidence. |
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