7 Little Things That Make You Better With People

Have you ever finished a conversation and then continued it for another 20 minutes...

Entirely by yourself?

I know I have 💃

I should have said xyz...

Why did she say that...

I should have explained...

It's funny how much energy we put into figuring out the "right" thing to say.

But lately I've been thinking that emotional intelligence has a lot less to do with having the perfect response.

It's often what we do in all those tiny, uncomfortable moments along the way.

Do we listen or interrupt?

Get curious or get defensive?

Match someone's anger or lower the temperature?

Correct them or let something go?

Those little choices add up.

And most of them happen in seconds.

✨ I N S P I R E

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."

- Anaïs Nin

✨ T H R I V E

7 Emotionally Intelligent Responses to Everyday Situations

1. Someone sends you a rude email

Your instinct: Fire back and explain exactly why they're wrong.

↳ Try instead: Write the response. Don't send it. Come back when you're calmer and decide what actually needs to be said.

2. Someone you love is upset

Your instinct: Jump in with solutions.

↳ Try instead: "Do you want me to listen, or help you figure it out?"

Especially helpful with kids 👌

3. Someone criticizes you

Your instinct: Defend yourself immediately.

↳ Try instead: Ask yourself, "Is there even 5% of this that's useful?" You can consider feedback without agreeing with all of it. 🤯

4. Someone is clearly in a bad mood

Your instinct: Wonder what you did wrong.

↳ Try instead: Remind yourself that not every mood is about you. You can check in without taking responsibility for fixing it.

5. Someone interrupts you

Your instinct: Talk louder to reclaim the floor.

↳ Try instead: Calmly say, "I'd like to finish my thought." You can be assertive without being aggressive.

6. Someone disagrees with you

Your instinct: Start building your case.

↳ Try instead: Ask, "What are you seeing that I'm not?" Understanding their perspective doesn't mean abandoning yours.

7. A conversation starts getting heated

Your instinct: Match their intensity.

↳ Try instead: Slow your words, lower your voice, and remember that someone else's urgency doesn't have to become yours.

Here's what I hope you'll remember:

Every correction doesn't need to be made.

Every feeling doesn't need to be fixed.

Every disagreement doesn't need a winner.

Every thought doesn't need to be said out loud.

Sometimes the most emotionally intelligent thing you can do is less.

This week, see if you can catch yourself in just ONE of these moments.

That little moment of awareness is where change begins 💛

Have a great week friends,

Carolyn