The 90-Second Rule That Can Save Your Career (and Relationships)

Carolyn Frost
1 day ago
3 min read

You know that moment when you're one emotional reaction away from regret?

That email draft you're about to send in anger to your boss or coworker
The resignation letter you're tempted to submit after a frustrating day
The biting words on the tip of your tongue, ready to lash out at your partner or kids

We've all been there.

Those moments when our emotions threaten to get the best of us, pushing us to say or do something we know we'll regret later.

It's so easy to get swept up in the heat of the moment, to let our knee-jerk reactions dictate our behavior.

But what if there was a simple, scientifically-proven way to navigate those challenging situations with more clarity and control?

✨ I N S P I R E

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response." - Viktor Frankl

✨ T H R I V E

The 90-Second Rule that Prevents Emotional Hijacking

Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor discovered a 90-second window that can transform your reactions.

When we experience a strong emotion, the physiological response lasts just 90 seconds (how long it takes our body to process the chemical surge).

After 90 seconds, any remaining emotional response is a choice.

We can fuel it with our thoughts or use that awareness to consciously shift gears.

The 90-Second Rule Phases:

The Trigger Phase (0-30 seconds)

Your amygdala detects a threat (real or perceived)
Adrenaline and cortisol start to flood your bloodstream
Notice without judging: "I'm feeling activated"

The Flood Phase (30-60 seconds)

Stress chemicals peak, hijacking your rational brain
You may feel the urge to fight, flight or freeze
Breathe deliberately - make your exhales longer than inhales

The Choice Point (60-90 seconds)

After 90 seconds, the chemical cascade subsides
Your rational brain starts to come back online
Ask yourself: "What response would serve me best?"

The Recovery Phase (90+ seconds)

Any remaining emotional response is now a choice
You have the power to choose your reaction consciously
Take a moment to consider your options before acting

The Golden Rule:

No major decisions in the first 90 seconds of emotional activation.

How to Use the 90-Second Rule:

Email drafts: Save it. Wait 90 seconds. Review before sending.
Arguments: Count to 90 before engaging. See if you still want to proceed.
Feeling reactive? Excuse yourself: "Let me grab some water." Take 90 seconds.
Important decisions: Sleep on it. Time often equals clarity

Remember:

Your next reaction is a choice.

The 90-Second Rule gives you space to make it intentionally.

** For a deeper dive, check out Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's powerful TED Talk, "My Stroke of Insight." Well worth the watch.What do you think, worth a try?

Have a beautiful rest of the week!

Carolyn

✨ R E S O U R C E S

Your Brain is Trying to Protect You (But You're Not Listening): Listen to your brain - fatigue, stress, and avoidance are signals, not weaknesses

The Power of Perspective: How our thoughts about an event shape our experience more than the event itself

How to Create Mental Clarity in Seconds: It doesn't take hours - just seconds and intention.