You said it. Did they understand it?
Have you ever opened a message, read it twice, and still had no idea what the person needed from you?
Am I supposed to respond?
Is this urgent?
What exactly does “thoughts?” mean here?
I know I’ve sent a few of those myself. It’s easy to assume something is clear when you’re the one writing it 💃
And it goes beyond text messages and emails.
We ask our partner to “help more,” send our boss an update when we actually need a decision, or tell our children to get ready without saying we’re leaving in ten minutes.
Then we’re frustrated when we don’t get the response we wanted.
Being clear won’t guarantee the answer you want.
But it gives the other person a much better chance of understanding - and subsequently delivering - what you need.
Here are five small changes to try.
✨ I N S P I R E
“So many problems of relationships are where we have things to say we haven’t said, and we blame people and get bitter that people haven’t understood what we never explained to them.”
- Alain de Botton
✨ T H R I V E
5 ways to communicate what you need with less frustration
1. Turn the hint into a request
“The kitchen is a mess” is an observation.
“Could you handle the dishes while I put the kids to bed?” gives someone a clear way to help.
2. Say what kind of response you need
Do you want advice, a decision, or someone to listen?
Try: “I’d love to talk this through. I don’t need solutions yet.”
At work: “I need your approval before I can move forward.”
3. Replace vague words with specifics
“Thoughts?” could mean anything.
Try: “Which option would you choose?”
Instead of “Get ready,”
Try: “Shoes on and backpack by the door, please.”
4. Name the timing.
“Soon” might mean today to you and next week to someone else. Try: “Could you let me know by Thursday?”
If there’s flexibility, say that too.
5. Agree on what happens next.
Before ending the conversation, confirm the plan: “So you’ll check the dates, and I’ll book once I hear from you.”
It’s easier to catch a misunderstanding now than chase it later.
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Before you repeat yourself, check:
Have I said what I need, or am I hoping they’ll figure it out? ✨
Have a great week friends!
Carolyn
P.S ~ Want to get more comfortable saying what you need?
If you tend to say yes when you want to say no, or struggle to explain what works for you, my free Healthy Boundaries Starter Guide is a good next step.
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